Nikita is sitting on the floor in the middle of the living-room in front of his lego box and with a whiny voice he is expressing his frustration loud enough for everyone in the house to know…  

“I cannot rebuild my plane! It’s all YOUR fault!”, he naturally blames everything on the person closest to him, his older brother…

I just served his yogurt with fruit in the kitchen to wrap up the day.  In spite of my numerous invitations, he is not showing up, he stubbornly refuses to leave his lego construction site; but when he does, he is cross with the whole world.  

He throws himself on a kitchen chair in a most exasperated manner.

I look at him and decide to start a conversation, hoping to change his state of mind or at least distract him: “Look, Nikita, you know what you cannot fix your plane?” 

“WHY??? Because Andres broke it, he stole my parts, he changed MY cool design, that’s why!” he angrily crosses his arms on his chest.

“ No”, I calmly contradict, “it is because of the time of the day, you know?  It is getting late, and you are tired, your brain needs rest!  There is an ancient Russian adage that says: “there is more wisdom in the morning”, so I am sure when you get up tomorrow, you will be able to reconstruct your aircraft again…” 

Although I notice he is paying heed to my words, the frown is not about to leave his face. He takes a spoon and digs into his yogurt while spewing even more accusations at his brother…  

Feeling a bit sorry for Andres but relieved that everyone is finally at the table eating,  I leave the kitchen, overhearing bits and pieces of their squabbling.

When I come back, however, I notice that Andres finally gave up and is helping Nikita with the lego design. Pleased with the outcome of his coercion and empowered by the sight of his new lego creation Nikita proclaims with force and conviction of a clergyman: 

“You see, mom, it is not that evenings are not good for the brain, the actual reason is that when you are angry, your brain concentrates on anger and sees no solution to any problem. When you have some yogurt with berries and your brother helps you — all this makes your mind happy and a happy mind makes ideas pop up ALL the time.  NOT only in the morning.” 

He actually slowed down and stressed each word in his ” ALL THE TIME ” which was done to emphasize the fallacy of my theory, I am sure.

Ok… so at times this guy scares me.

But then I realize, kids are like sponges, everything we say around them gets absorbed and stored in their pliable, flexible minds. Our comments, notions and judgements may lie dormant in their minds for months.  It is a mystery when these chunks of information will surface again, but they are destined to come up, some day, sooner or later.  

I suspect that some time ago Nikita has either overheard me speaking to Andres, or he might have even watched one of those popular science videos, who knows, but his ability to pull out information and slap it across my face in perfect timing never ceases to amaze me.  

So next time you are unable to create your own version of a lego structure and get annoyed in the process, have a bowl of yogurt, a cup of coffee or a nice shower and try to dissipate your frustration.  

An angry mind can never find a solution. 

Nikita B

Let go of the anger,

sooth your mind,

relax and let those creative ideas flow!