Do you ever worry about something so much that it starts effecting your performance, your concentration and your general well-being? This anxiety often feels so real, we succumb to defeat without evidence, we let the negative inch into our lives without actually experiencing it in reality.

“It’s all in your head. “

I bet you have heard this before. And yes, we are capable of creating a complete disaster in our minds, we can catastrophize to the point of feeling paralyzed and crushed by fear.

This overwhelming worry and anxiety is always psychosomatic and if experienced for prolonged periods of time is destined to have a negative effect on our bodies. And if you have been there before, you know that the first impact we usually feel at night, when in stead of drifting peacefully into the land of dreams, we find ourselves staring into the ceiling, overcome by worry or some internal conflict. A few nights of interrupted, low-quality sleep may well set you off on a downward spiral of other physiological failures, such as binge-eating, or the opposite, loss of appetite, dehydration, mood swings and headaches.

So what can we do to pull ourself out of the doom we create in our heads?

I would like to suggest a few steps which I have been so far successfully applying when dealing with unnecessary worry. And I say unnecessary, because there is of course a completely justified anxiety, connected to a problem we are dealing with in life and we must act in accordance with the requirements of the situation. (in such case, try listing ten specific actions you can take to resolve or improve the situation, because it is important to move from problem thinking to solution thinking. You are setting yourself up for solving the problem and you will feel better by staying in a positive state of mind)

Below, however, we are talking about a worry, which we impose on ourselves, by imagining worst case scenarios and playing them in our heads, often without being fully aware of it.

Step One

Become aware

Without realizing that the stress and discomfort we are experiencing is coming from our internal worry, we will not be able to improve the situation. First step is always awareness, understanding, that we are being bothered by ungrounded fearful thoughts or anticipation of uncertainties. So if you find yourself in a less than peaceful and harmonious state of mind, do a quick self-check: what is it that I am thinking about that takes away my peace? What is the root of my worries.

Step Two

What is in your control

Now that we know what gives us this anxiety, we must assess how much of the situation is within our control. Chances are, it is completely outside of our control, because if it were under our control, we would have already acted in stead of simply playing the “horror tape” in our minds.

There is a chance that something can be done about it. For example, if we are worried for safety of a family member, we can give them or a neighbor a call. If we are not sure if traveling in pandemic is safe, we can take extra precautions to protect ourselves and the loved ones.

In most cases, however, Step Two requires us to make a radical acceptance of the fact, that what we worry about is not in our control and there is nothing we can do about it.

Except one thing: we can deal with our own emotions.

Our state is the only thing we have total and complete control over!

Step Three

Stay in the present moment

Once we agree that the only person we can control at any given time is ourselves, we can start utilizing this wisdom.

Try this:

Find a comfortable position, sit still and bring your awareness to your breath. Follow the sensations of air entering and leaving your body, and as you inhale and exhale, feel your body relax. Again, exhale and release all the tension. In this state, it is fairly easy to realize, that although we may be fearful and scared, there is absolutely nothing that threatens us at this very moment. We are not being attacked or terrorized, all that is required of us in this moment of peaceful meditation is to keep taking air in and out. And we don’t even need to think about it. How amazing is that!

Step Four

Realize you are safe

So if present moment does not require us to be anything more than we already are, then we can allow ourself to completely relax. We can connect not only to our physical bodies, but also spiritually, to any higher power or the force of the universe you choose to believe in. Staying in present moment means appreciating the fact of being alive. It is also allows us to appreciate that we are absolutely capable of choosing our own thoughts.

So based on Step Two and Step Three, (knowing we have no control other than over our own mind and being aware we are not threatened in the present moment) we can start calming ourselves down by consciously choosing different thoughts. Focusing our attention on things that make us smile, proud and happy. Proactively choosing our thoughts.

Step Five

Appreciation

It’s only natural for us to slip back into our worry once we get out of this peaceful place of meditation. The mind will want to go into its place of familiar emotions. We might start fretting and agonizing again.

So what can be more powerful than that?

Gratitude is one of the most high-vibrational emotions we can experience. So going about our day, looking for something to appreciate and be grateful for will do the trick! And it is just so easy to find things to be grateful for in our lives.

We need not to look far…

you woke up in the morning – a win!

You are pain-free? Great!

You can turn on your tap and clean drinking water comes right out of it! Wow!

There is food in your fridge and mmm, that coffee tastes so good…

As you go through the day, infuse your thoughts with little moments of awe for things we have been taking for granted.

Your phone has the best camera to capture spring around you, your wi-fi allows you to connect to a friend across the world, your weather forecast is accurate for weeks in advance — All these things were unthinkable a hundred years ago. They are nothing short of miracles.

Try it for one whole day, you will immediately feel how your body welcomes and embraces this state. Do the gratitude practice before going to bed and you will sleep so much better. And then feeling amazing in the morning you will have one more thing to be grateful for!

Stop worrying and start living.