A few weeks ago I had an opportunity to interview Ashfaak Beeharry. He is a life coach helping those who feel lost, stuck or unsure which path to take next. He does it through healing work, assisting people to establish a healthy relationship with self.

Ashfaak teaches from expericence. A few years ago he found himself overly stressed, unfulfilled and simply hating his job, which he believed had been the root of his misery. So he quit his company and embarked on a journey of searching for his truth.

He undertook an extensive exploration of his inner self, which helped him uncover a memory of a childhood trauma and become more aware of his own thought patterns. These important insights further assisted Ashfaaq in making peace with his inner child. As a result of this work he was able to nurture his soul into a more calm, content and harmonious living.

As we talked he shared his story in a soft tone of voice and at a relaxed, yet confident pace, he created a reassuring atmosphere of acceptance and comfort.

I asked Ashfaaq a lot of questions and one of them was regarding the process he uses in his coaching. He said he helps people rapidly, in just a few weeks they experience an increased amount of understanding of their own thought patterns, as well as a stronger connection with inner self. They also report feeling more grounded and confident.

Ashfaaq kindly offered me a short demonstration of the practice. I gladly accepted the opportunity to experience it.

My own experience with inner child work

So he took me through a process of connecting to my inner child. (In the video I edited with meditation out, but you are welcome to get a free session with Ashfaaq here to try it out for yourself) .

An important realization for me was that when I was a small girl I was extremely creative, I loved drawing and painting and making beautiful things. As I entered the adult life, however, I concluded that doodling, coloring and collecting autumn leaves was childish and a complete waste of time!

I pushed creativity away from me to the point that my esthetic taste gradually faded away even from my wardrobe.

I felt I needed to be practical, down to earth and efficient more than anything else. Grays, blacks and dull business suits invaded my closet. I was a good worker in a big corporation. I worked with engineers and tried to make myself blend in. Although now I realize that no matter how hard I tried to make myself invisible, in a corporate Japanese environment, in an industry dominated by men I was a fit, long haired young lady with no chance to blend in.

And yet, throughout my life I found myself fascinated with beautiful photo books, artistic representation of life and could spend days on end browsing stationery shops. At work I marketed and sold space-related equipment but even there, I often jokingly discussed with my engineers a possibility of making black-boxed amplifiers in gold color.

I went on business trips with a briefcase full of technical documentation, but my favorite part of any day was taking a taxi to the client’s office, staring out the car window while taking in the blend of architecture and nature of a new place we visited. And of course I had a camera on me. Before we all had smartphones a camera was a must.

As a result of the session

During our fifteen minute coaching session I felt a tear rolling down my cheek. I felt sorry for the child who had been so full of hopeful dreams and creative ideas and never had a chance to let them come to fruition.

And I asked for her forgiveness… It was in a way my fault that all the beautiful creations inside of her will never see the light of day. I can only try to bring something out now, through my conscious intentions, consistent actions and a newly established connection to this inner child of mine.

When I shared my insights with Ashfaaq, he suggested I do something creative daily.

… hmmm, maybe I can sketch, I said. I love doing that in my free time… And yes, that would be a good thing to do, confirmed Ashfaaq.

Where to go from here

Establishing a connection with our inner child is something very important. Often we carry on traumas and hurts we had inadvertently received when we were little.

We are carrying and blindly following the beliefs that were pushed onto us when we were small. Some of these beliefs and notions are not only inadequate for our time, they are plainly false. But unless we take time to connect to the inner child and see the truth behind these flawed ideas, we may never realize how our lives are directed by someone else’s opinions and erroneous, unnecessary judgments.

The process of connecting to self is very personal. We can achieve it in different ways, such as meditation, journaling, yoga, or reading inspiring and spiritual literature. Through this work we make it a discovery process and once we initiate this process we need to nurture and further develop it.

Sometimes we lose the connection with inner self as we get immersed into our busy lives. Our world is full of distractions and everybody around us is competing for our attention. Often we end up doing everything for everyone and nothing for ourselves. If we act as if on autopilot, we start our days with checking our phones, we sway back and forth following opinions of others, we draw all our judgments from the outside world.

Without self-awareness, we are simply following all the external inputs we receive daily. Inputs we did not even choose ourselves.

If we are not careful and intentional about what we are reading, watching and spending time with, we may not be living in accordance with our own truth. Meditation, inner work, sessions with a coach can help us get in touch with our true selves again and again.

Be vigilant of your relationship with self. It is the most important relationship you have.